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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Because It's Never Too Late.

"Because out of nowhere, suddenly some weird person reminded me of how I was when writing was the best thing for me ever. How it used to make me happy, after I pour down all my emotions, my frustration, my sadness, my sorrow, my pain, and my happiness too. It just made me more and more happy, and made me feel so light that words don't seem to just emote that accurately. Somehow, I was reminded that how much have I changed, how from being someone crazy about writing, I became someone who's just thinking and thinking and thinking, and not letting it out. What happened to me? Where did the smile go? It's like I'm shouting at the top of my voice and no one seems to hear me, it's like drowning in the middle of the sea where there's so much of life around, but no life within me. How could I be so stupid to let someone do this to me, to let someone influence my mind, my heart so badly. How can I let it all happen? How could I let things out of control? How could I just not be a selfish bitch and live for my own self. Maybe, I just turned out to be too good for the rest of the people. I value happiness, I value my friends, I value my family, I value all the things that I have in my life. But suddenly, no body seems to value me, nothing seems to bother anybody. I don't know if I'm making sense, but life is weird, too weird to be true. One moment you're too happy to have your best friend beside you and the other moment, you're insecure to see your friendship with her fall apart, one moment you're happy to see that your parents are always there for you, but the other moment you realize that someday you'll be alone, and you will have to fight for yourself. This is sad, this is unfair, this is cruel, but, this is the truth. It seems I'm just drowning day by day, step by step, and no one's there for help, no one's there to pull me up. It's vacant, it's empty, everything around me. I wish I could express what I feel in words, because nobody can understand how exactly it is. Nobody's that perfect, and suddenly out of nowhere, dying seems such an easy option..."

Devastation, being hurt, being broken, frustration, anger, there are so many negative emotions that we go through every day. But it's somehow really stupid how we expect our lives to be perfect, isn't it? It can never actually be perfect, we just have to make it perfect. We need to give ourselves our own made happy ending, because nobody will do that for you. Because that is how life works. You got your heart broken? So what, who said that all cute french boys out there are dead? Adding a bit of humor, or smile, or a blissful positive feeling within won't do much of a harm to you, would it? If you best friend leaves, cry, be sad, but after a while, realize that this was written and it just had to happen, for new and better people to come in your lives, you need to let the old and fake ones go. Go and splash some water on your face, play with your dog, write your heart out, go out with your friends, love your mom dad and remind them every day that how easy your life is because of their presence, if you love someone, tell them, if you don't, then tell them that too. Always keep up the spark, the hope, the smile. Because it's never too late to make a new beginning, it's never too late to smile, it's never to late to make things okay, it's just never too late.



"When I look back I see how much I've gone through, when I look around, I see so many strong people who have gone through even more, and who are still smiling. Then why can't I? I love you mom and dad, you've always made my life so easy for me. You've always protected me, and kept me safe. I love you so much my ex-boyfriend, for you broke my heart and made me so strong and powerful, I love you ex-best friend, you left me and then that very lucky day I met this girl and she's like a sister to me now. I love my dog, for it has been the best boyfriend/bestfriend to me. I love this smile on my face, it's beautiful for it has struggled through so many tears. I'm smiling, and I've never felt so energetic and desired and so inspired. I love the bad days, they made me strong, but I love the good days even more, because I never gave up, and the good days came. I'm happy, and I know it's temporary, but most of all, I'm positive. I'm positive about the negatives too, and that's just how it is.


I'm strong, I'm happy, and I'm not perfect."






4 comments:

  1. Ma'am, this is really nice stuff.
    Even I write.
    I'm very much into music.
    Would you like to work with me?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sammmmmmm. This is good, really. And i am soo happy to see you writing again and smiling again, you've grown really. And i loved what you've written. Keep smiling, suits you! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. This was damn good :)

    ReplyDelete