Never Be Afraid Of Dreaming Big

"Dream big, and don't you dare be scared of working hard." Yes, that's exactly what my dad told me yesterday when I confessed to him about my fear of failure, of not being good enough, of being judged on my every move, of being scared of the competition around, and of the people around. And then he told me, that there is something special in everyone. Something extra ordinary that probably the other person doesn't have, and never will. He told me, that I'd be special in every way, even if I fail in life, and when I asked him why, he said "Because you never gave up trying. It's not about winning, it's about trying." Being scared of failure is one thing, and being scared of even trying is another. If you don't even try, then you are already a failure. You know who a failure is? A failure is someone who never tries, who desires to be perfect and makes no mistakes because he doesn't really ever take a stand, he lives a life of mediocrity and is scared, all the time, anxious, and lives in a dream world (which isn’t exactly wrong) but on top of that, is scared of trying to make it real. And never care about what people say, because society was, is and always will be a judgemental bitch. You’re hated if you’re pretty. You’re ugly because you aren’t a size zero. You aren’t good enough for a guy because you’re too short. You cannot achieve your BIG dream because you aren’t lucky enough. You’re weird if you’re loyal. You’re stupid if you believe in love. You’re heartless if you believe in hook-ups. You don’t have a life because you love books and you’re a nerd. You’re a whore because you’ve all guy friends... When are these perceptions going to change? Probably never! People will always accuse you of one thing or the other, but it’s upto you, whether you’ll let it affect your happiness and your hard work and you dreams. You’re different in your own way, don’t restrict yourself because of stupid, senseless human made restrictions and rules. Be passionate, have something that cannot be taken away from you no matter what, because it’s within you, you will have something that you will love more than yourself, and you’ll be proud of that. It’ll be that part of you that will always make you realize that you’re worth it, every single minute and every single second. Dream big, and when you’ve set your goals, work for it, work hard, because hard work always feels SO good. NOTHING LIKE IT.
There are two possibilities, you might make it, and you might not, but you’re dying in none of them.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."
- Eric Thomas

Hug Therapy

It sucks when you wish to be alone when in a crowd, and you wish to be with someone when alone? How weird can teenagers be. Super weird. Super super weird. Which is exactly two more super's than the usual.

"Forgive & forget", one of the most common quotes used by today's teenagers to get over heartbreaks. But no wonder how untrue and wrong it is. Probably for a few people, forgiving but never forgetting is the maximum they can afford to do. And probably for the other half, forgetting is what they do because the pain is too much and they fail to be so forgiving and good. You're lucky if you get to be a good person during your high school years. On one hand people tell you to learn from your experiences and to never repeat that stupid mistake of yours, but on the other hand, people ask you to let go of your past and learn to hope and have faith again. How uncanny is that!

Suppose you just went through a terrible heartbreak, and with time you do manage to smile, but then the other day you meet this amazing person, and you like him/her, and he/she likes you back, but you guys just can't date. There's something within you that doesn't let you take a chance, again. Is it the fear of getting your heart broken again? Or is it that you've learnt from your past experience of being a bit more careful? 

What are you supposed to do? I wish I knew too.

We cry. We smile. We love. We laugh. We're heart broken. We're demented. We're moody. We're PMS'ing 12 months a year (not in case of guys, hopefully). 

Every time I wonder that how much just a single hug can make a person feel good, supported and so fine. Hugging therapy is a really powerful way of healing. Well, let's not think the way our 'orthodox' society thinks. Our society and people might think too wrong about it. You see a girl hugging another guy, and immediately we detect the non-existent love going on between them. We, human beings, are so so so amazing! Which is exactly two more so's than the usual.

Even if you see an enemy of yours upset, broken, on the verge of giving up (worst case scenario) just, hug her/him. It might just make her/him smile. You might just end up making somebody out there happy. Because at times its just about the actions and not the words. Its just about that assurance of being there rather than a hundred broken aimless promises and statements and commitments and words. Its actually not about the physical contact, its about the built trust and that sense of safety, healing that feeling of isolation and anger and hurt. Moreover, you end up learning how to give, and how to receive.

"Hugging is one of the most complex and many sided ways of communication. Through hugs we can spread our spoken language to the language of wider expression. In different hugs we may speak of security, confidence, trust and sharing in a manner that no word can tell. In these ways hugging someone may also do good for one's self -esteem. So much better than verbal crap, isn't it?"

The Hug Therapy Book (one of my favorites of all times) by Kathleen Keating : http://www.amazon.com/The-Therapy-Book-Kathleen-Keating/dp/1568380941

A must read! :) 

What's Your Definition Of Happiness?

What does being beautiful according to you mean? Does it mean that you have to have a good boyfriend beside you who reminds you every day that how pretty you are, or is it that you need to win a beauty contest so that you realize that you're pretty, or do you need a thousand likes on facebook to feel that level of popularity?
Throughout our lives you try to become something, someone, somebody, who cannot be forgotten and will always be remembered. You wish to leave a mark in this world. You wish to make your absence felt. You do dream big, but the question is, how many of us actually manage to achieve those big dreams?

"Every day when I wake up, I try to be someone or the other. At times I try to be the perfect daughter, an ideal sister. At times I try to be a selfish bitch, not caring about this world. At times I try to be the best dancer, the best inspiration for people, at times I try to be pretty, not beautiful, because let's face it, not all cute boys appreciate the inner beauty. Harsh reality. At times I try to study for hours, even trying to be the perfect nerd. At times I try to have the best of dreams, trying to be the perfect dreamer. At times I try to smile, even when the inner me is longing for a hug, and is weak. At times I try to be that smart girl in the class, the best of all. At times I try to be the girl who makes everybody happy and doesn't gives a fuck about people..."

But the truth is, you're not that. You try and try and one day you're initially tired of trying to be somebody whom you're not. And being someone you're not is of no use and will lead you nowhere in life. Believe in yourself and love yourself the way you are. You should know that your parents love you the way you are, you don't have to be perfect for that. You have to make mistakes, you need to, so that when they correct you, they know that you need their guidance and shadow. You don't have to be a selfish bitch. You care and that's true, somehow. That's how you are. You're caring and you should stay the way you are.
You cannot be the best of all every day. You have to realize that you're a normal person but you're special in your own way. Your dreams might not be that big, but they are your dreams, and they are special for you and always will be. You're not the prettiest of all, and you're not that big a socialite, but you are you, and nobody can be that.
You try to be the best of all but ultimately you end up failing. It's as if there are so many obstacles and zero solutions! Once said, "When you're young, every thing seems like the end of this world." So true! We're young and still after every betrayal by a friend, we end up making a perspective about not trusting any one through out our lives. Have you ever asked yourself? Is it actually that worth it?
At times even your mom misses out on that look in your eyes during a fight which says "I don't wanna fight with you, I'm just sick and tired of everyone and this world, and I just need your hug to make things okay, to have some faith in me and to believe me." At times you just want somebody to agree with you even when you know that what you are saying is wrong and makes no sense. At times you just want that unexpected hug, that unexpected appreciation, that unexpected love and forgiveness. That unexpected feeling that you are not a liability and you're capable of something. You're you and you are proud of that.
"I am me, but why am I so ashamed of it always? Why do people always wanna bring me down? Why am I so hated? What have I done?"

You look at yourself in the mirror, asking yourself a hundred unanswered questions. And it seems that the answers to those questions don't exist at all. You know that these are the most important years of your life, your future, and everything. The bonds won't be forgotten, and the memories are supposed to last forever. You're supposed to love life and smile, because you're just too young to say that life sucks and that life has got nothing. What do you do? Shout? Cry? Go to your mom? Dad? Friends? Ultimately it all has to stop. You've to decide what you want and what you don't. And sometimes, what you want, you just can't get it. You're just sick and tired of that emotional blockish pain inside your heart, inside you. But you can't do anything about it. You want to question the people around you, that how come they don't see you sinking? Why are they not helping you? Do you even matter? But for a fact you know, according to Albert Einstein, all humans have mass! So yes my friend, you do matter.
No wonder, where American soaps end up inspiring us about the facts that we end up in problems, but the problems that we end up in do have their own solutions. We just have to find our way out. Whereas these Indian shows (probably all of them) leave us with a disheartening mood. No offence in particular to any show. But that's how I feel, which to a great extent I think is true. At times the good moments just come you know, so surprisingly. There's a problem, you realize, but then you realize that there's a solution to that problem too. And that you have to find out. Because things do work out. Bad moments end, and so do the good ones. FIO - Figure It Out! Because we always won't have a guide in front of us with us to lead us through all the obstacles, and keep you safe. But yes, there's God! Who'll give you the strength to figure things out. There will be people to support you, but eventually you have to fight the battle and make it through the struggle. You have the internet, the text books, your teachers and friends for the help in studies, but eventually you have to write the exam yourself, right?
Since months I was trying to write something meaningful, something good, and something that I could share with people, something inspirational you know. I had my diary in front of me and a pen in my hand for long hours and extended days, but nothing, absolutely nothing came up. Just one day weirdly during my Economics period, I felt like writing something. Anything! I don't know how and I don't know why, but I did, strangely, and I started writing. It felt good for some reason, I could feel the heaviness eroding away. If you realize so, there's a writer inside all of us. We just need to choose the right words and just let it all out.You have no idea how much a pen and a paper can make you feel so happy and light.
Everyone has their own story. The untold story. If one is heartbroken, then the other is an orphan. If one failed in the exam, then the other has to give up on his/her desired dreams. We all have to realize that there are always gonna be so many things in life that will hurt us and that will make things difficult for us, isn't it true? But what if we fight through it with a smile? Because every day you wake up and you're breathing, you're lucky already and it's a gift of God. So never take things for granted, and never ever take yourself for granted. That'd be the biggest mistake of your life. Because apparently there's this cute little friend of mine who's always smiling (I bet she'll smile when she reads this) and one can't possibly tell how much pain that smile holds in. She's a gem of a person, you know. But this world just appreciates the diamonds, and that probably sucks. But I'm just proud of this girl in my life. She deserves all the happiness  in this world and she'll get it, and my dear friend, so will you.

But it depends, what's your definition of happiness? Is it winning a cute boy's attention, or is it holding a new born baby's little hands?

- An admirer of all happy girls and boys.

Because It's Never Too Late.

"Because out of nowhere, suddenly some weird person reminded me of how I was when writing was the best thing for me ever. How it used to make me happy, after I pour down all my emotions, my frustration, my sadness, my sorrow, my pain, and my happiness too. It just made me more and more happy, and made me feel so light that words don't seem to just emote that accurately. Somehow, I was reminded that how much have I changed, how from being someone crazy about writing, I became someone who's just thinking and thinking and thinking, and not letting it out. What happened to me? Where did the smile go? It's like I'm shouting at the top of my voice and no one seems to hear me, it's like drowning in the middle of the sea where there's so much of life around, but no life within me. How could I be so stupid to let someone do this to me, to let someone influence my mind, my heart so badly. How can I let it all happen? How could I let things out of control? How could I just not be a selfish bitch and live for my own self. Maybe, I just turned out to be too good for the rest of the people. I value happiness, I value my friends, I value my family, I value all the things that I have in my life. But suddenly, no body seems to value me, nothing seems to bother anybody. I don't know if I'm making sense, but life is weird, too weird to be true. One moment you're too happy to have your best friend beside you and the other moment, you're insecure to see your friendship with her fall apart, one moment you're happy to see that your parents are always there for you, but the other moment you realize that someday you'll be alone, and you will have to fight for yourself. This is sad, this is unfair, this is cruel, but, this is the truth. It seems I'm just drowning day by day, step by step, and no one's there for help, no one's there to pull me up. It's vacant, it's empty, everything around me. I wish I could express what I feel in words, because nobody can understand how exactly it is. Nobody's that perfect, and suddenly out of nowhere, dying seems such an easy option..."

Devastation, being hurt, being broken, frustration, anger, there are so many negative emotions that we go through every day. But it's somehow really stupid how we expect our lives to be perfect, isn't it? It can never actually be perfect, we just have to make it perfect. We need to give ourselves our own made happy ending, because nobody will do that for you. Because that is how life works. You got your heart broken? So what, who said that all cute french boys out there are dead? Adding a bit of humor, or smile, or a blissful positive feeling within won't do much of a harm to you, would it? If you best friend leaves, cry, be sad, but after a while, realize that this was written and it just had to happen, for new and better people to come in your lives, you need to let the old and fake ones go. Go and splash some water on your face, play with your dog, write your heart out, go out with your friends, love your mom dad and remind them every day that how easy your life is because of their presence, if you love someone, tell them, if you don't, then tell them that too. Always keep up the spark, the hope, the smile. Because it's never too late to make a new beginning, it's never too late to smile, it's never to late to make things okay, it's just never too late.


"When I look back I see how much I've gone through, when I look around, I see so many strong people who have gone through even more, and who are still smiling. Then why can't I? I love you mom and dad, you've always made my life so easy for me. You've always protected me, and kept me safe. I love you so much my ex-boyfriend, for you broke my heart and made me so strong and powerful, I love you ex-best friend, you left me and then that very lucky day I met this girl and she's like a sister to me now. I love my dog, for it has been the best boyfriend/bestfriend to me. I love this smile on my face, it's beautiful for it has struggled through so many tears. I'm smiling, and I've never felt so energetic and desired and so inspired. I love the bad days, they made me strong, but I love the good days even more, because I never gave up, and the good days came. I'm happy, and I know it's temporary, but most of all, I'm positive. I'm positive about the negatives too, and that's just how it is.

I'm strong, I'm happy, and I'm not perfect."

Parents - The Only Ones Obligated To Love You.

Ever thought that how difficult our lives would've been without our parents? We actually never realize their value, or the priceless amount of faith they've in us, how much they believe in us, and how blindly they trust us. But for us? Our boyfriends/girlfriends become our priority. Under peer pressure, and just to get the tag of a 'cool person', we cross our boundaries and end up doing things which actually would hurt them. We put up hundreds and thousands of pictures with our friends/girlfriends/boyfriends, but sometimes, somewhere around we do hesitate putting up a picture with our mom/dad.

Not everyone out there is like that, some are. I don't mean to offend anyone, but yes, there are people out there who are ashamed of their parents because according to them they're not cool. It's normal, it's something you can't really change. Because the world out there makes us so concious about our level, that we end up doing things never realizing the fact that we are not like this. You must be thinking, such people are so fake, ashamed of their parents? Ashamed of the fact that I don't own a fucking BMW? Ashamed of the fact that I don't have pictures with my boyfriend kissing me?WHAT SHIT, they don't even deserve to live! ... this is exactly what we think, at one point of time in life, maybe one year back or so, I had such thinking. But then, few incidents changed me. It's us who makes them so conious, believe it or not. Does it even matter if your parents are not that good looking? Haven't they loved you enough? They kill their own dreamsn to fulfill yours. I don't think anyone out there among your friends would be so self-less to do that. No one will even sacrifice their dreams to fulfill yours. No one. Except a few gems out there. So never be ashamed of your parents. Whatever you're today, is because of them. If you think you're an intelligent, pretty and an independent girl, or you're a cool, good-looking boy, or a very good human being, then it's because of the way they bought you up. We owe our parents our lives.

... but sometimes, we do feel like our parents don't understand us, our generation, our feelings, our emotions. Out of nowhere they seem to be just too experianced and too practical to understand our senseless kiddish pain and manage our broken hearts, or our relationships. The same way, even they feel that we cannot understand them. Blame the generation gap, or lack of understanding. But this is the most common problem in every house out there. Especially in India. But what we gotta do is realize the fact, that no matter what, they just want us happy. Your opinions, their understandings, a bit of limitations 'cause of your tender age, won't do much of a harm, would it? You understand their reasons behind rules/limitations, and they understand you and your feelings regarding your friends, studies, boyfriends/girlfriends and life. Isn't that fair enough?

No matter how narrow-minded/broad-minded your parents. If you share a good understanding with them, then there's nothing that could make things between you and your parents perfect. And if they don't tend to understand you, then it's better if you remind them that they were once teenagers too. Sometimes you sacrifice, sometimes they, isn't this how relationships work out? And who knows it better than our generation?

... because our parents' love is what we get for free, and the rest of the love? We've to earn it from the mean world out there.

"Love your parents and treat them with loving care. For you will only know their value, when you see their empty chair,"

- Unknown.

Life goes on.

No matter what, all relationships hurt, be it friendship, love, or even sisters or brothers. Everything has a tag of 'bad times' along with it. It's weird, but true, you cannot change it. You just have to accept it. If someone who'll be there for you no matter what, are your parents, or to an extent your siblings, they can die for you, but can you boyfriends/girlfriends LITERALLY die for you? Or your bestfriends, or even friends, can they? I guess everyone knows the answer to it. Even I do. Making relationships, and believing in them alongside is a different thing. They are TEMPORARY. They will stay for a while, make some lala-and-gaga memories, and they'll GO. They won't be there for you till your last breath.

You can't even expect anything from the people who are the closest to you. Something or the other will hurt you, it's obvious, you love them, they've that thing to hurt you, as simple as that. And weak girls like us so easily give it to each and everyone, what the fuck are we? A tissue? To be hurt again and again? So as of now, the people who wish to ditch you/use you/ or shit, can FUCK OFF, and the one's who literally care, can stay. You don't promise them to be there forever, you don't promise them to be with them in their bad times, you cannot promise them to love them forever, but yeah, what you can do is just be there genuinely as far as you can. No fake promises. No expectations. No hatred. No love. No heartache.

"Expectation is the root of all heartache."
- William Shakespeare.

BUT yes, real relationships exist, in which crying is worth that idiot. Such relationships do come, and you should know that they will, and that will be the day when you will truly start believing in genuine people and relationships, till then, everybody knows how fake the world is. So just be strong, 'cause the world out there is a total bitch.

In life, if you expect people to be choose your hapiness over their hapiness, then it's YOU who's at fault, not them.